I've loved a girl who i know via Facebook called Nika.
This is a last text coming from my love diary.
It was the first day i started to play Facebook, i remembered that
maybe i added her as friend at the first time and then she confirmed
my friend request after that we started to play comments together
everyday, every time, when we were free, therefore we started to know
each other for days long. A long times ago we played, we never forgot
between us as long as she wanted me to be her brother, i also agreed
with her but i would never think that i was her brother at all for
sometimes because when i first saw her photo in the profile i also
fell in love with her at once as like the old-saying word said that "
first see instantly first love ". I'm always tagging a photo to her
when i play Facebook. She is also always the first person who i tag.
It means that she stays in the first order of tagging photo. She is
very beautiful and pretty for me but maybe not for you. She has long
hair to the waist, her eyes so clear and clean; especially, when she
makes up once she looks like a doll, her face so very lovely whenever
she starts to smile, her smiling for me can explain me to know that
she is a confident girl so that she likes to play a lot, to joke a lot
and to kill somebody's words to make fun of. Moreover, she is more
attractive than this that when she wears black shirt and black
shorts, she is good-looking and looks like an angle who is from
paradise for me with this uniform, her voice when she begins to speak
to me is so soft and quiet, it seems to be like a princess White
Snow's voice, because i used to call her for a chat. I've remembered
that the first word she starts to say in the conversation between her
and me is a word which calls "Bong" that is in Cambodian means
"brother" as i know. It can say she is a perfect girl beating all the
girls around the world. All over the world, she is the number one of
standard perfect girl, including, beauty, character, performance, the
power of smell, the power of body, best speech, full of aptitude or
ability as well. Totally, all the points she has are all best.
According to these, you can say she is the best of the best perhaps no
one like her, for me, i can not find another one out. And you? All
right! I love her so much. I really want her to know that i need her
indeed, i do want to take her to stay by my sides; moreover, i want
her to know that she is the only one who can change my histories and
my world in my lifetime nowadays because that's a reason is that she
is a repairer of my broken heart; especially, i really want her to be
my wife in the future and i will look after her, take care her, take
attentions on her, baby her and so on. All my words are full truth. I
will promise i will never allow her to catch or crash into something
badly. I'll swear and oath in front of the Buddha's face and God and
all the statues, icons, or idols if all of you enable me to get her
completely, if i take back my words or lie her, i will die so
barbarously and cruelly. But there is only thing i can bring, that is a
pity on me! Because all what i've said, it's just a thing i want to
be. It seems to be no hope for me. It's probably an impossible thing or
just a dream never comes true which i always get in the night. I
think that if she knows i've loved her and never regard her as sister,
maybe even a position as her brother has no for me anymore, she will
get angry with me, hates me, doesn't want to talk or to play facebook
with me forever i know exactly. So what can i do at the next? I really
don't want to lose her from my heart and i don't want to be her
brother too. This is a huge obstacle for me in my life. Some friends
told me that i should have treated her as a sister but i can't do that
because when i see her profile i miss her and love her so much. So how
can i do that? What is a love? Why must we have it in life? Why when
do i try to love someone is very hard? And why am i the failed man in
love all the time? No one can understand my heart. I hate myself, i
hate my life, why i'm so unlucky like this. Why? Why? I'm asking
myself why. Why my Buddha has done like this to me? Why do you let me
meet her by accident and you turn to split her from me? What's wrong
that i committed in my last life? Why do you do badly to me, my
Buddha? Even though she will get angry with me or hates me, but I
still want her to know about these. However, I also have decided to
stop playing Facebook forever even she doesn’t want to continue to
play with me. because I don’t want to lie myself like crazy anymore.
You know? When I see her photos once in a time, I weep or cry all the
minutes. Sometimes I like to shout to the world loudly and loudly that
I love you [grandfather love], I miss you, and I want to hold you, I
want to kiss you and do everything for you, oh my girl! You will hate
me if you know all these. The moon’s so beautiful at night, the sun’s
so bright, the sky’s so blue, but if not you, everything is over. I
don’t know what I have to do the next when you already know that I
love you, sister! I’m afraid. I’m very very… but only thing I can do
for myself right now just die, because I know that I can not change
her mind, also I can not change her heart, and because she never love
me back or have some special feeling on me a little bit, is that she
just keep me as brother, hence perhaps no fortune for me. So let the
destiny judges my lifetime and the way of my living, but that’s ok, I
want nothing from her, just see her in the happiness and laugh
everyday, that’s enough for me in my life. That my lifetime how is
going on, It doesn’t matter, I can get all. On the other hands, I just
want her to know that, there is a man who still cares about her all
the time, love her from the bottom of his heart, nothing can change
his heart and his mind, that’s “me”! This love diary will still stay
in my heart and my brain forever. It will be the first page of my love
histories forever, and it will be a last diary that is eternity never
end. I hope that she is looking this diary and understand everything
that I meant.
good bye my eternity never end!
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